It is my daughter’s birthday weekend.  It was insanely busy and I ended up having to work for Friday and Sunday.  Thankfully I have tomorrow off and plan on doing fun, relaxing stuff with my family.  The hubby even took the whole day off of work and is missing dart league to spend the evening with us.  We feel really lucky and excited to have him home for an extra night this week.

It should have been an enjoyable weekend.  Parties, shopping, surprising my daughter with a redecorated bedroom, friends, family, friends from out of town…. It should have awesome.  I should have been floating on Cloud 9.  I made my daughter deliriously happy and was surrounded by people I love.

It was not.  I put up this façade of happiness and okay-ness.  I broke down twice.  Once Friday night and once last night.  Lots of crying, lots of anxiety, lots of fear, and hopelessness.  I feel broken.  I am hoping some rest tomorrow morning and a less stressful day tomorrow will end up restarting my brain and help me out. 

Mostly, I just want to be happy for my daughter and with my daughter. 


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