It was my first sober Halloween.
I made it through. I didn’t have any emotional issues until this morning. I felt drained. It was like all of my motivation and desire to try had been sapped out of me.
I will admit it, I hid in my closet for a bit. Granted, I have it cleaned out for just such occasions. There are a ton of pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, lights, and some decorations. It is my last-ditch-effort-to-pull-myself-together place.
After lots of tears and internal debates, I climbed out and did some writing.
I still feel like I got ran over by a truck and my emotional state is a bunch of open nerves, but I am awake with pants on. I have plans to clean a few rooms in my place, and am trying to give myself some slack while the hubby watches football.
I think I am going to lay down, then get up and make some espresso and clean.
Even though I don’t feel wonderful, I do feel kinda’ proud of myself.