First of all, my pickles turned out AMAZING! They taste like the giant pickles that you pay $1 for at fairs and festivals. I will definitely be doing that more often!
I am about 109 days sober and around 105 days sober, I took Whimzy to go see her Grandma AKA my mother-in-law. At her bar. Where we used to live. We went during the day and the place was pretty empty. The bartender was my husband’s cousin, whom I love dearly. It was not a trigger. I had no desire to drink or even thought about it except to think that it was great that I wasn’t thinking about it. It was weird to feel comfortable and not feel the need to escape. I am not sure if that has more to do with me handling my anxiety better or if it is because I am getting used to not using alcohol as social buffer. Maybe a combination. Whimzy had a great time playing pool, eating cheese fries, and happily eating the cherries from her kiddie cocktail.
Today, I ended up with an amazing balance. I got to spend some alone time this morning and sleep in, then I had some time to talk to my Mom, got to hang out with Whimzy and my friend’s daughter, went grocery shopping, got to be a cool adult and provide lunchables and Cartoon Network to the kiddos, cleaned, jammed out to inspirational music, hung up some herbs to dry, made dinner, had a friend over, and now I am sitting here writing while Ty and Whimzy play on the Wii U. I feel amazingly content and motivated to keep this going through the entire week. I have goals written down and some solid ideas about how I want to make myself better this week. Every day I am taking small steps forward. I think my positivity and DBT exercises are working.
That being said, I am going to share an exercise that has helped me fall asleep, have amazing dreams, and helped me wake up in a positive mood. Every night while I am in bed trying to go sleep, I repeat two positive affirmations over and over. I’ve been doing it for a couple days and it seems to be making a difference in my overall mood. Try it! Pick something that you need more confidence in, or something that you need to believe to make yourself better, and just say it in you head at night.
Oh, and if you are going to go see Antman, just think during the fight at the lab while they are in the model “What is this? A center for ants?”. It will make you giggle, because it is Antman and he fits in it! Also, as soon as he named the damn ant, I knew it was going to die. R.I.P Antony.
Just for the heck of it, here is a picture of some parsley I have hanging over my sink to dry. I have dill hanging on the opposite side and I love the way it looks. The clothes pin holding it on is from my bridal shower and they were all handpainted by an amazing woman 😉 Putting them to good use! The two strands of herbs framing above my sink makes my kitchen look very homey. Once I scrub down the sink and all that tomorrow, maybe I will take another picture of the whole sink.
How was your weekend? Accomplish anything? Hit any recovery milestones? Remember! You are amazing and that shirt looks amazing on you! (If you aren’t wearing a shirt, then I appreciate that you want to be comfortable and I am referring to the shirt you were wearing earlier…obviously.)