Yesterday I received an official diagnosis of Boderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. It means that I need to double down on my DBT therapy and really focus on stabilizing my moods. It means that I have more of an explanation of why I behave the way I do and that in turn means that I have more information to help me learn coping skills and how to improve myself. It will be a lifelong thing that I have to deal with, but it will make me stronger and more self-aware. Optimism 😉
Yesterday, I also officially accepted a job with a friend’s company as a temp daycare staff worker. It works with my schedule, gives me the opportunity to say that I can’t pick up the shift if I am having a bad day, and opens up a different avenue that I can use my psychology degree in. Overall, it works out really well. I am a bit nervous though, and I woke up thinking about it this morning and was a bit stressed out. I had some negative thoughts and I was letting myself become anxious. Besides being anxious, I was supposed to be getting ready to go to a park with some friends that I was really excited about. Unfortunately, the anxiety was making me want to curl up and ignore the world. I didn’t. I pushed through, took my meds, and got ready. By the time I got there I was excited to see my friends and watch my daughter play. It was an epic park and the slides were dangerously fast. I absolutely loved it. It was worth being uncomfortable for a little bit to push through and have an amazing time. I need to remember that in the future and utilize the success that I had to help me though anxious times.
After our adventure at the park, we came home did housework, had a family dinner, and did some minor decorating for Halloween (finishing it up tomorrow). I had an ah-ha moment while folding laundry and Whimzy was asking me to spell “zebra” that I felt absolutely content. I don’t get those completely calm moments often, so when I get them, I savor them. Being home, with my family, doing normal things and enjoying it really just made me feel like life is good. I am so grateful to have these moments and to be able to recognize them. Now, it is shower time and I am going to curl up with a book until the new Doctor Who is on. I am going to be live tweeting the new episode, if you want to follow along, go check out my Twitter! Life is wonderful.
Oh, and I just talked to Mom on the phone and I am getting super, super excited to go see The Bloggess in person! *fangirling* *squee*