Scars

Literal, angry, scars.

TRIGGER WARNING!  SUICIDAL IDEATION AND ATTEMPT

I tried to kill myself and I have scars from it.  Not scars on my arms, scars on my legs and feet.  I got hypothermic burns on my legs from having hypothermia and scraping up my legs.  I was bandaged up for a good month.   I’m still healing.  I think the marks on my legs will disappear, but I think I still will have the scars on my feet.  All of my neuroses are going to make it impossible to wear flip flops or heels.  And trust me, I have a lot of flip flops and heels.  It is just another thing to be self-conscious about.

I know it is my fault.  I don’t blame anybody else.  Like I’ve said before “Mistakes were made and consequences ensued.”  I just thought that maybe if I put it out there, maybe I won’t be as scared to wear flip flops.  I already have a cover story if anybody notices.  I dropped boiling water on my feet.

I know that I am rambling, but I have so many thoughts and feelings about what happened that it is hard to straighten them out and put them into words. I should probably talk to my therapist about it.  It is just so hard.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Scars

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s