One the risk factors for having Borderline Personality Disorder is having a stressful or traumatic childhood. Causes and other risks can be explained more here at the Mayo Clinic website.
One of the ideas that I’ve heard in my various support groups is that people with BPD never learned some basic emotion regulation skills as a child, which goes back to the stressful or traumatic childhood.
This means that the skills that healthy people have still need to be learned by people with BPD. I am in therapy, and a lot of what we discuss is about how to take time before I react with high emotions and to dissect any action or decision I make to make sure that it isn’t unhealthy, impulsive, could cause me harm, or is against my values.
This doesn’t make me broken, it just means that I am still learning. It isn’t my fault that these things weren’t taught to me. Learning now is up to me. Becoming healthier and more conscious of all my decisions is now my responsibility.
I am still going to make mistakes, but by continuing to learn I can make sure that I make less as time goes on.