As I was falling asleep last night, I kept coming up with awesome ways to put the story of my life into words. I probably wrote close to 2 chapters in my head. This morning, the ideas were gone. Poof.
So, I haven’t been writing much. I’ve been on a roller coaster of highs and lows. I’ve had a few days that I struggled with my addiction, and I have had a few surprise adventures that have whisked me away from real life to help me cope.
I have spent at least 1 night a weekend in a hotel for the last month. Life is slowing down now, though, so reality is crashing back in.
I am doing a bunch of group therapy at my local community center, and even leading a few groups! Hoping the routine and socialization will help keep me stable.
We are still working on the process of getting a house.
I just read “Girl In Need of a Tourniquet: Memoir of a Borderline Personality” by Merri Lisa Johnson. So far, it is my favorite BPD book I have read. It resonated on so many levels. The disjointed writing let me think that maybe one day, I will be able to write a book on my experiences in a way that speaks to people who have had similar experiences.
Here is what is hardest to explain.
I chose hell again and again.
– Merri Lisa Johnson
That quote almost made me cry. I’m not the only one! If you have BPD, check it out, I highly recommend it.
Part of my new BA’s (behavioral activation, part of DBT) is to write 2 blogs a week. Hopefully, I will be writing more!
Signing off for now. I am off to combat the clutter monster that has invaded my home.