This is what depression looks like:
A messy house
A mom almost crying because she wants to be more for her daughter
A feeling of complete and utter worthlessness
Body aches from not sleeping well
An urge to drink just to get some motivation
Almost crying when putting chicken in the slow cooker because it was alive at some point
A to do list sitting, unused
Feeling overwhelmed at the idea of even moving at all, let alone doing something productive
Wanting to skip going to the pool, despite already promising daughter you’d go
Wanting to cry, but not being able to let go enough to actually cry.
Exhaustion. Total and utter exhaustion.
Now this obviously doesn’t cover everything that depression can do, but it is a list of what it is to be depressed in a moment. And this is unique to me, every one is different and has different symptoms and severity of symptoms.
Right now, I’m honestly jealous of my cats. I want to curl up in a ball, also, and sleep all day. Unfortunately, I need to find a way to buck up for my daughter and my life.